Stop Posting Made Up Quotes – Mark Twain

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

Stop posting made up quotes – Mark Twain.

or

You can’t believe everything you read on the internet – Abraham Lincoln

 

I love quotes, I have books of them. Long involved ones; short, pithy ones; funny ones; old ones; I love quotes.

 

I find it easy to lose an hour or so just going from one to the next. The problem with quotes is that they are not in context and can be easily misunderstood.

 

For example-

 

This is a quote the British Homeopathic Association used in its advertising.

 

“There is some evidence that homeopathic treatments are more effective than placebo”

 

But the House of Commons study on the practises of advertising notes the full quote:

 

“There is some evidence that homeopathic treatments are more effective than placebo however, the strength of this evidence is low because of the low methodological quality of the trials. Studies of high methodological quality were more likely to be negative than the lower quality studies.”

 

That paints a slightly different picture than the rosy one the British Homeopathic Association wants us to see. There are plenty of examples of this selective quoting –

 

A show in London used the tag line –

 

‘energy, razzmatazz and technical wizardry’

 

When the full quote in the Times was –

 

“I couldn’t help feeling that, for all the energy, razzmatazz and technical wizardry, the audience had been shortchanged”

 

Again very different from the ‘real’ quote.

 

Look at the quotes below –

 

“Twitter is a great tool for social change” – Mother Teresa

 

“Play it again, Sam” – from Casablanca

 

“Elementary, my dear Watson” – Sherlock Holmes

 

“Hate the sin: love the sinner” – Jesus Christ

 

“My philosophy? I’m always right and you are wrong.” – Oscar Wilde

 

Which is your favourite?

Which ones had you heard before?

Did you know that the people listed never said these things?

 

These are all misquotes or false quotes. Holmes, in all the books, never says  “Elementary, my dear Watson”; it’s “Play it, Sam”, not “Play it again, Sam”; Oscar Wilde, Mother Teresa or Jesus Christ ever said those things.

It’s so easy to make up quotes, easier than misquoting because you can get them to say whatever you like.

 

“Melbourne Welsh Church is the best church is the world” – Barak Obama.

 

See? I doubt the President of the U.S. has ever heard of the Welsh Church and even if he had I doubt he say we’re the best church in the world. (What am I saying? Of course he would, I’ve seen a quote saying he did!)

 

There are preachers and churches who take the words of Jesus and do all the things to them I’ve noted here. Misquote, false quote, selectively quote and they don’t represent what Christ really says

 

What I’m trying to say with all this is if it isn’t in the Bible then Jesus didn’t say it. With so many Bible websites (www.biblegateway.com) its easy to see check what Jesus really said and, just as importantly, in what context he said it. It may not stop the random misquoting of Jesus but at least you will know exactly what J.C. said. Check and question what you’re told. If they are preaching the truth they will have no problem with questions.

 

SO DO IT!

 

Ask questions. Don’t blindly take a minister’s word for something – check it, question it – question everything. PLEASE.

 

(and tell them to stop posting made up quotes.)

 

 

Have you found Jesus?

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

 

Not long ago I saw this cartoon and, predictably, it made me laugh. (I don’t know who drew it but the image belongs to them and we will remove it if requested, by the artist!!!)

 

But it also made me think. Why are we so sure we know who Jesus is and what he would do in any given situation? We look at Jesus with the eyes of people who know the whole story. We see the patterns in his life and ministry because we can look back on the whole thing. To those living with him, in 1st century Palestine, Jesus was nothing if not unpredictable.

 

Think of that time he threw the money changers out of the Temple. No one saw that coming. Nowhere else do we see this raging Jesus. He is confronted with lying Pharisees, crowds stoning women, great numbers of silly people who forgot their food for the day; lots of blood pressure raising situations. Not once does he lose his rag – that’s what would have made the Temple Tanty so difficult to understand.

 

He also went to people that no one else had any time for – tax collectors (they were seen as below the lowest of the low), lepers (‘dirty’ people with bits hanging off them), prostitutes (frowned upon by ‘polite’ society), random sinners (as judged by the religious folk of the day – not nice people at all (do I mean the religious folk or the sinners? You take a guess)).

 

This Jesus chap was radical and unpredictable, sorry that should read this Jesus chap IS radical and unpredictable.

 

So, why do we, the people of the Church, think we’ve worked him out? We’ve been arguing about it for 2000 years. Jesus would do this say one group, he would do no such thing says another. Jesus, even today, is a very controversial and radical figure. But there are things that almost everyone sees.

 

Churches, by and large, agree that one constant Jesus does show is love. But, rather predictably, Christians can’t seem to agree on how that love is displayed and to whom. There are churches that say you MUST be white to share in the love of a brown skinned Middle Eastern man (??????), other churches say that you have to have to be male to truly get what J.C. says (even though there were loads of women who followed him and the majority of church goers in Australia today are female). Many churches insist you can’t be gay because Jesus frowns on gay people (even though he never says anything about them, not once, not in any of the 4 Gospels – he has more to say about religious bigots, and he tells them they are wrong!) Riches are a prerequisite for some (even though Jesus told the rich young ruler to give away all he had, work that out????). Still for others it’s the Roman Catholics who are outside the love of Jesus. Think of a group of people and there is a church somewhere that thinks Jesus hates them, and I reckon they are all wrong, but that’s just me.

 

If Jesus were to land in Australia tomorrow which church would he go to first, where would be the first place he would visit? Would he come to the Melbourne Welsh Church? Maybe he would go to one of the nice big cathedrals, or a grand church with lavish decorations. Perhaps he would join in with some evangelicals or fundamentalists who seem to know exactly what he wants. Or at the very least a synagogue?

 

We can never find Jesus where we put him, we left him right here in our little church building, waiting for Sunday and another couple of services of praise. Trouble is he goes off and does his own thing, like he did years ago.

 

I heard that he was seen by a soup van for the homeless, someone else claimed he was with the down and outs under the bridges by the Yarra, one women ridiculously suggested he was with the drug addicts near Smith Street. I heard sightings of him from as far afield as St. Kilda with the transgender folk to the graffiti gangs down the lane ways to some depressed farmer who lost everything in the bush fires.

 

How ridiculous. He’ll be in a coffee shop somewhere nice, having a cake with some nice clergy types before coming back on Sunday to join us. After all we are his type of people. I’m sure I just worry too much.

 

The body of Christ

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

Well, Happy New Year to you all.

Here is the first blog of 2014. Where did 2013 go?

I got to watch Christian T.V. over the holidays. I now want to do a reversal of what happen to Paul. Paul had scales fall off his eyes and he saw – I want scales on my eyes so I never have to see that sort of stuff again.

I only watched a little (trust me, that was more than enough) so all the shows may not be so bad but the one I watched was awful. Apart from the blatant demands for money (or love gifts, or whatever they called them) it was an hour of what Jesus can do for you and to you.

Jesus can make you rich, he wants to, if (big ‘if’ there) you have enough faith and send in your cash. So the millions of Christians in places like Africa, South America and India (not to mention those who live below the poverty line here in Australia, in the U.K., the U.S.A and other places) just don’t have enough faith. You don’t need food, brothers and sisters, you need more faith and the money will roll in and you’ll be fine. Send us your donation and the Bank of Jesus will be opened unto you.

Jesus wants you to be healed – and if you send in $19.99 (plus postage and handling) we’ll send you a book that tells you what you must do to get this healing. Ummmmm, what YOU must do? Isn’t it about Jesus and what he will do. Obviously I have this faith thing the wrong way round. That’s probably why I have no money and my back is playing up.

It went on from there but I’m sure you have the idea by now. The Jesus bandwagon was a-rollin and there was nothing that would stop it. Jesus is this, and Jesus wants to do that. Etc, etc, etc.

I was a bit shocked though. There is so much stuff we have to do to ‘get right with Jeeessus’ but not one mention of what we should be doing FOR Jesus. Jeeessus can do so much for you – make you rich, heal you, take away the demons of loneliness, alcoholism, homosexuality, pain etc etc but he can’t do any of these things until you do something.

Is it a great cosmic bargain? If I don’t use bad words anymore then will Jesus makes me rich and then I won’t use bad words anymore. What is this shit? Are we so bloody selfish that we will only follow Jesus if he does things for us? Hasn’t he done enough already?

I have to agree that Jesus has done, can do, and is doing a lot for me – following him is one of the best decisions I ever made, it is also one of the worst. It is the best decision because he gave himself for a world in need (me and you included) and there is nothing I can do to earn that love that he showed. But it is also one of the worst decisions not because of what he demands but because following him makes me want to change things in my life and in the world around me. I’m sure my life would be much easier if I didn’t follow Jesus, I wouldn’t have to try and write blogs about why I follow Jesus to start with. But I do try and follow him.

I belong to the Church, which is the body of Christ on earth. It is not one building nor is it in any building, it is the people of God, wherever they are, living out what Christ has shown them. And there is the best and worst thing about this life of following Christ, he has shown us how to live; the problem is doing it.

Jesus uses a very small word and this word makes following him so difficult. Jesus answered the question Foreigner asks before they ever did. Jesus knows and shows us what ‘love’ is. He shared that love with the world and with me and he tells us to live out that ‘love’. Because of that the body of Christ, the people of the Church, cannot stand idly by and watch the world tear itself apart. Love drives us to action.

Injustice – the body of Christ will fight it: hatred and bigotry – the body of Christ will stand against it: oppression – the body of Christ will resist it: and it will do all of these things (and more) because of love.

The poor, the oppressed, the marginalised, outcasts, sinners and freaks – these are the people Jesus went to and sends us to.

So why do some preachers avoid them? Are they bad for the P.R.? Why do some ‘churches’ (and I use that word in its broadest possible sense) insist that you have to be rich to be right with God (and vice versa)?

Jesus doesn’t need a P.R. team (we’re crap at it anyway) banging on about how good and nice he is and how he is the great monopoly banker in the sky waiting for you to pass Go and believe in him and collect your $200,000. He needs the body of Christ to go out and be that – the body of Christ in the world around.

I am part of the body of Christ – and that body acts for Jesus in the world. It doesn’t always get things right, it doesn’t always do what he would want but it does try and do his work. We (the BoC) are not perfect but we follow one who is and while there is work to do let us strive to do it in whatever way we can.

Let us be his LOVE in action!

You are not a loan….

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

 

You are not a loan

For many Christmas is the best time of the year – the parties, the presents, the family get togethers. Shopping for others, shopping for ourselves, a sneaky mince pie and a quick drink. For a lot of people it is, “the most wonderful time of the year.”

But not for everyone –

For some it’s a struggle just to keep going. They can’t afford to pay what they owe and the pressure to buy more stuff is so great things can get, literally, depressing. Wherever we turn there is a constant torrent of adverts and reminders of what to give, and if we don’t know what to give there are always gift cards (“the best way to say ‘I have to buy you a gift but have no imagination'”, as I read the other day). Christmas is so much about ‘stuff’ – What to give, what to get, what to eat, what to buy, what to wear – constant reminders that if you can’t spend thousands of dollars on presents, clothes and food you ‘aren’t good enough’ and have failed in the eyes of society. We may know that’s crap but not everyone does and to many who cannot even afford food on a ‘normal’ day Christmas is a terrible time.

For others who have lost a loved one, or who don’t know where their loved ones are, Christmas can be the loneliest time of the year. With the barrage of ‘family’ images that surround us at this time there are many who are reminded that they don’t have any. There are many who will have empty seats around the Christmas table.

Yet others will find that Christmas is a time to be with those who are suffering – in homes and hospitals, in aged care facilities and palliative care units there are many who will try to celebrate Christmas by sitting at the bedside of a loved one. Some have the hope of healing, for others it is another day of waiting and watching.

Others will have to spend the holiday hiding behind a false face of happiness. Smiling as those who abuse them (physically, emotionally or spiritually) show one face to the world and hide the ‘real’ them and wait for their next chance to show how ‘powerful’ they are. Or others who show the perfect household to the family as their relationship crumbles around them; waiting for the in-laws to leave and the fighting to re-start.

Not everyone will have a Happy Christmas. The pressure to celebrate the commercial idea of Christmas is so constant and so great that it seems that if we don’t have that ‘Woman’s weekly’ idea of an ideal Christmas we are freaks, outcast, social failures.

It is such a change from that first Christmas Day – a day when the freaks, outcast and social failures were at the very centre of things. A homeless family; an unwed mother; the outcast shepherds welcomed to the celebrations; pagan travellers; God is with us; the birth of love.

As you celebrate this Christmas give a thought to those who don’t.

God bless you all this Christmas time, whatever your situation.

Nobody’s perfect…..

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

You’re not a nobody. Nobody is.

 

I remember a test I took in college. It had loads of deep theological questions on it (most of which I got wrong, I’m sure) but the last one – the last one I got right.

 

It was a simple question – what is the name of the lady who cleans your room?

 

I spoke to her every morning, her name was Siân.

 

Not many people got that question right, I found that very sad. Despite all we had leant during the year about the value of all people; no matter that we had studied families from the Khasi Hills of India and the slums of South America. We knew the names of these people and their children and yet not the name of the woman who cleaned our room.

 

That taught us all a valuable lesson – nobody is a nobody.

 

Jesus had shown this many times; lepers, prostitutes, publicans, sinners, the down and outs of his day had all felt the love of Jesus in his presence at the tables or in their lives.

 

My favourite story of this kind is of a man called Zac.

 

Zac was short (I can relate to that), disliked and very rich (that bit I can’t relate too). He was a tax collector and was quite used to cheating people. One day he had heard that Jesus was coming to his town and seeing that Jesus was a huge celebrity he wanted to go and see him. Being short he climbed a tree and watched this pop star walking past but instead of walking past the J-man stopped under the tree and looked up. “Zac” he said, “Come on down, I’m coming to tea at your place.”

 

How could this be? Zac was a nobody and yet the man wanted tea at his home. All the “religious” types grumbled that Jesus was going to eat with this tax collector, one who was lower than the lowest.

 

Zac turned to Jesus and told him that if he had defrauded anyone he would give it back and four times more and half of everything he had he would give to the poor. Jesus looked at him, then spoke to the crowd, “Remember, this man is also accepted by God, for he too is a son of Abraham. For I have to come to search for just such as him.”

 

Moral of the story – no-one is valueless. God loves everyone – even short tax collectors. How do we not see this every time we open the Gospels???

 

So next time you’re in a food court and someone clears your table remember they are a real person; that person behind the milk bar counter – person; bin man – person; hotel cleaner – (guess what? Yep) person. Those pesky asylum seekers – people; the homeless guy on Elizabeth Street – person.

 

I think you are getting the idea – there are no nobodies.

 

Jesus shows us, the Bible tells us and we really know, deep down – all are equal in the eyes of God.

 

So why not in our eyes?

Was George Michael right?

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

Seeing is believing, unless your religious in which case the opposite is true.

 

Was George Michael Right?

 

Here’s is a question that demands an answer – one that cannot be ignored –

 

Is George Michael Iron Man?

 

Think about it, have you ever seen George Michael and Iron Man (or Tony Stark) in the same room? Both have perfectly sculpted facial hair, both have less talented friends called Andrew (although I don’t think we’ve ever seen Iron Man’s friend Andrew – Iron Man is a genius and so probability states he has a less talented friend called Andrew, it is a popular name. BTW I can’t think of any geniuses called Andrew, although I do admit I didn’t think about it for more than a fraction of a second.) Both made money from waving their arms about, both like Pepper (again an assumption but I can find nothing online that says George Michael doesn’t like pepper). I think I’ve cracked it – GM and IM are the same person.

Back in 1987 Iron Man, thinly disguised as as a leather jacket wearing, guitar playing George Michael, insisted we have ‘Faith’. (1987????!!!!! I couldn’t believe it when I read that.)

I agree with him, faith is a very important part of  belief in God. But what is it?

Well according to the bloke (we assume its a bloke, it may have been a woman but since we are talking about the 1st century in the Middle East where women didn’t really count and had no education other than how to cook and clean and be a good little housewife, I’m going to say bloke) yes, according to the bloke who wrote a letter to some Hebrews somewhere (we aren’t sure where) –

“faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”.

(From The Epistle to the Hebrews ch. 11 v. 1)

 

Lovely words – but a trifle confusing. I had confidence that my hope of winning the lottery last week would come true. It didn’t (then again, it may have helped my cause somewhat if I had bought a ticket!). I do not see the blu tooth connection between my iPad and this keyboard but I’m assured it works by the words I see appearing as I type. Faith may be the confidence and assurance thing as described above, but it is more than that and not so easily described.

If you’ve ever watched the All Blacks play rugby you may understand this next illustration – if you haven’t I may lose you for half a page or so, but stick with it, I’ll start writing in English again a bit further down the page. I’ll put an asterisk there, like this *, to show you, if you really can’t take the rugby stories.

So if you have ever watched the AB’s play well you will have seen a graphic demonstration of what faith is.

 

Imagine the scene – the men in black are playing their arch rivals the Wallabies in the deciding game of the Bledisloe Cup. It’s 21 – 21 with 2 minutes to go and there is a scrum on the Wallabies’ 22.

The half back puts the ball in and retrieves it from the number 8 and here is the demonstration of faith- he passes without looking, straight to the man on his shoulder. The fly half passes it on, again no need to look, to the inside centre, he passes it back inside (while looking outside him) to the scrum half (who has circled round) who throws a double miss pass to the winger who scores a spectacular try in the corner. All this is done without anyone needing to look where the ball is going.

Why? Because each player knows there will be someone there to take the pass, he trusts those around him to do what they should, he has faith in his team mates – for faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Is God any different? Not to me! He is the player always on your shoulder, always there to catch the ball if you drop it. The unseen support who is just where he should be, just when he should be.

 

* Welcome back to the non rugbyed people in our midst.

 

There is a famous little story called “Footprints” it tells of a person looking back over their life, which looks like a beach, and seeing two sets of footprints in the sand. On closer inspection there are parts of life where there are only one set of prints. Turning to Jesus the person asks why, at the worst points of life, Jesus had left Him alone. Jesus answers, “That’s not where I left you, that’s where I carried you.”

 

There is a cartoon that extends the tale – a grinning Jesus pointing and saying, “And those lines are where I dragged you for a while.”

 

To me that’s what Faith is – knowing that Jesus is there and will even drag you around for a while.

I hate people that hate other people.

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

 

If reading the Bible leads you to hating people then you’re reading it wrong.

I love reading the Gospels. I do it for enjoyment not just for work and every time I read them I find something I haven’t seen before. This week I looked for the word ‘hate’. I trawled through the Gospels in my N.I.V. Bible and found 21 references. That’s a lot more than I expected but then I went on to read the passages in more details.

Two verses seem to sum up the what the Gospels have to say about hate – Matthew 5:44 and Luke 21:17. The majority of Gospel verses are either of the “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” variety or the “You will be hated by all because of my name” sort. So it’s either a don’t hate verse or a you’ll be hated verse. Which ever one it is there is not one Gospel verse that tells us to hate other people (apart from Luke 14:26 and that’s about the cost of discipleship and is making a definite point).

So what do I take from my reading about hate in the Gospels – easy – don’t do it but do expect it. We do not have a message of hate to preach but THE message of love and grace and what we have will make us hated.

But you can look around at some, of what the media term, Christian churches and all you find is hate. What Gospel are they reading? Which translation do they have? Westbro Baptist church’s website is godhatesfags.com. Now there is the Gospel of love we preach summed up in a website name, if ever I’ve seen one. I’m trying to secure you’re_all_going_to_burn_in_hell_unless_you_do_exactly_as_I_say_because_I_know_the_mind_of_God_and_he_only_speaks_to_me.com.au. It’s a bit long but it’s got a ring to it.

It seems to me that these churches if hate are projecting the things they hate onto God instead of letting him show them how to love.

You see, I can’t find this Gospel of hate anywhere! In no passage can I find an example of Jesus hating women or blacks or gays or the poor or any other group of people no matter what the disciples think of them. I find him getting pretty cheesed off with the Pharisees (the religious fundamentalists of his day) with their concern for law rather than people and the rich with their drive for wealth (at the cost of the poor) but he doesn’t seem hate them, he seems almost to pity them. He gets very angry with them and calls them all sorts if wonderful and inventive names. (Vipers and snakes being up there). Jesus is also pretty clear and what they should be doing (Luke 11:42)

“But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God; it is these you ought to have practiced…” but there is no hatred of them.

He even prays for his executioners. Now if you’re going to hate someone I’m pretty sure your executioner would be quite high up on the list. Jesus, however, asks God to forgive them because they are somewhat misguided. Grace and love in action.

And that is what we are called to do – be the here and now extensions of a man who loved everyone, even his killers.

Divine or not (and I say divine), the Son of God or just a decent guy (I’m in the Son of God category) you cannot deny the teachings of this wondering prophet from Nazareth could make the world a better place – if only more people learned the uplifting power of love over the destroying mire of hate.

So if reading the Bible is leading you to hate, you are reading it wrongly. Very, very wrongly. Try reading it again and take a lot more notice of what Jesus says.

(Actually, we would all do well to do that).

YAY! We’re getting better roads…..

Category:Church sign of the week,News Tags : church sign of the week news

 

In response to wickedness in high places, do good in low places.

So we have a new Prime Minister and if you voted for him or not, he’s in.

Horrifically, however (if you voted for him or not) he intends to slash the foreign aid budget by over $4.5 billion. So for the fact that Kevin and his mates spent a bit much Tony and his mates are going to punish the poorest people in the world.

As it is we only spend 37 cents of every $100 on helping the world’s poor and when we cut that its going to be mainly from the Asia Pacific Region (of which Australia is a part) and where 70% of the world’s poorest people live.

But we can rest assured – Joe Hockey has told us that the money we don’t give to the poor will be getting us better roads!

Well I feel relieved now. At least I know that as I’m driving into church, I can be safe in the knowledge that the road I’m on is better because poor people are going hungry for it.

Thanks Joe, it’s a weight of my mind. All those (non existent) pot holes on the Eastern Freeway were getting very out of hand, I’m so glad they’re all going to go and only at the cost of a few, non voting, (non eating now thanks to you and Tony) people in some land I can’t pronounce or spell. It’s all good because they don’t matter anyway.

So here’s an idea! If we’re not going to send them as much money in aid why not let those poor people come and live here? We’ve got all we need (and great roads) – as we know we have “boundless pains to share…”

Oh no, I forgot, we’re not going to let asylum seekers in either.

 

So as the rich get richer, and drive on better roads, and have their tax bills cut  – the poor get poorer and get even less than they had before.

So again the burden falls on us – the ordinary people. I don’t have $4.5 billion hidden away so I can’t help with the foreign aid budget, I will be vocal in trying to get more funds for the world’s poor but for now I can only do what I can, where I can, in the area around me. I do have compassion, I do have the gift of hospitality and I do have the ability  to see the need where I am. I do have a few dollars in my bank account that (although I want) I don’t REALLY need.

I can help.

I should help.

I will help!

In response to the wickedness in high places I vow to do what good I can in low places – the places around me, with the people I see and the needs I encounter.

 

Join me make the same pledge and let’s try and improve the world one person at a time-  share this post, spread the word and, for at least the foreseeable future, that word is COMPASSION.